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All good things come to an end.
I started this blog in March after a sudden, unexplained and totally unexpected major improvement in my illness. It is well known that my illness has flares and remissions. In my case this usually means that I am either "sick" or "very sick".
This time was different. After years of being almost totally housebound I was able to leave my flat for up to an hour at a time without severe repercussions.
I had no idea how long this would last, although sadly it was likely to end at some point. Tomorrow? Next month? Next year? Never? I hardly dared hope. So I didn't think about it. I treated this good patch just like I did my bad patches: one day at a time. I took each day and enjoyed it as much as I could. I hope in doing so that I did this remission justice.
I have now been sick again for 4 weeks straight. I have only been on one "wheelchair walk". Last week I tried to go out as my sister was visiting me. However even very short trips led to me sleeping for several hours and I felt pretty terrible, however much I tried to hide it.
So here I am mostly stuck inside again. I can feel the Common calling to me. Summer is now here and I long to go out and take photos of the green trees. In some ways I feel more claustrophobic than I did before. But I have no regrets and many happy memories. And who knows? Maybe another remission is just around the corner.
In the mean time life goes on. Being (mostly) housebound is no excuse for not living.
In the past 4 weeks I have organised several board games evenings, had weekly lunches with a friend, seen another friend and her 3 year old for lunch, had church group meetings, 3 weekly film+video sessions with another friend, had my sisters and baby niece over to stay, and celebrated my god daughter's birthday. I've chatted with friends abroad on skype, family on the phone and used social media in one form or another to chat to other disabled people.
I'm gradually sorting through the hundreds of photos taken by various family members during my sister and baby niece's 6 week long visit. I've finished two Future Learn distance learning courses and signed up to another one. I've bought some new fish, and have constructed a completely ridiculous hamster playground (it seemed logical at the time). I'm working my way through several drama series on Netflix. Depending on how well I'm feeling I'm also enjoying audiobooks, kindle books and video games.
So. Sick and fed up of feeling ill? Yes. Confined and wishing I could go out? Yes.
But. Bored? No. Lonely? No. Unhappy? No.
I've thoroughly enjoyed my "wheelchair walks" and I will be delighted if they happen again. But I've adapted to life as a housebound person. And I'm happy. Let no one think otherwise.
|My last wheelchair walk with sister and baby niece|
End of Project
Click here to go to Week 11
Click here to go to Week 1, Start of Project